I woke up early this morning. I've been waking up early off and on, but mainly because I couldn't sleep anymore. Until recently, Kim's been waking up early because of nightmares. She's tells me she's doing better with that. I guess its my turn. I woke up this morning from a nightmare and after a few minutes of laying in bed, I just started to cry. It's as if, I see Kim starting to cope or heal and now I'm really starting to grieve. Since the beginning, I've been concentrating on her and didn't give myself the time "I" need to grieve. Maybe now that I realize that, I can take care of that before it's time to go back to work. I've got about 3 weeks before that happens. Last night we went to the Candle Lighting for the local chapter of The Compassionate Friends. It was very nice, but oh so difficult. I almost lost it so many times. Kim and I couldn't believe how many people there were. There must have been at least 60-80 people! What else was nice was that I saw some familiar faces. Terry Gieger(?) and John Szabo from work were there. Two guys that I know and get along with. Today Kim and I meet with the Psych. Doctor. It's getting to the point that I think "I" need some meds, now. We'll see. It could be the stress from last night washing away. Who knows. I love you and miss you, son.